Out of Cold

Crushing snow beneath my feet.
My brow furrowed in the dark.

My head hurts.
I'm tired.
I feel empty.

A sound and a move catch my eye.
The last of a long line of deer is heading back
up the mountain.
The clack of their dainty feet
on the hard, man made black of the streets
bring me back to where I want to be.

The snow crackles like fire.
The stars smolder in the velvet.
For another moment, the world is full of magic.

- Eliza Woodhouse

An artist's interpretation of a moment at 9:54pm on January 10th, 2008.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I have
This disease.
But it's not contagious, don't worry.
You keep your distance, and I guess I can see where you're coming from. I can kind of understand why you wouldn't want to be around me, at least while I have
This disease.

I'm sorry I'm not
the same anymore.
But someday it might go away.
You can see my face light up at the sight of you, and you see my hands and knees trembling. You see my eyes glisten and you know why things between us aren't
the same anymore.

I'm sorry
you don't feel the same.
But when I think about it, I'm kind of glad you aren't as sick.
People get along much better when they are both afflicted, but it also means that neither can nurse the other. So maybe I really am happy that
you don't feel the same.

I'm sorry I can't hide
my disease.
But if it gets any worse, I'll quarantine myself.
Because there are no doctors who can prescribe, no apothecaries to cure such a petrifying malady. So please be patient as I bear through
my disease.

I hear it's only fatal sometimes.

My Way Home

here's a song I wrote a couple days ago.

Intro
Em A D (2x)

Verse 1
D G A D
You were the one who found me alone

D G A D
You came and brought me into a love of my own.

Chorus
Em A Bm
Walking in the dark was nothing new.

Em A D
But walking by myself was hard to do.

G Em A
I'll be content to stay

G Em A
If I'll see you again today.

Em A D
I'm on my way home.

Em A D
I'm on my way home.

Verse 2
D G A D
You loved and left me with a bag of goodbyes

D G A D
'Cause you were much too good to be caught up in lovely lies.

Bridge
G D A D
You hold the answer to the question: "Was it real?"

G D A
And if the answer is no, I guess I know

G Em G A
How wonderful a dream can feel.

Instrumental
Em A D (2x)

Chorus
Em A Bm
Walking in the dark is nothing new

Em A D
But walking by myself is hard to do.

G Em A
I'd be content to stay

G Em A
If you say you'll be back someday;


Em A D
I'm on my way home.

Em A D
I'm on my way home.

Em A
I'm on my way

D (3+6)
Home.

Oh how beautiful

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see acceptance.
To be assured by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are safe.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see assistance.
To be relieved by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are healed.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see joy.
To be thanked by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are loved.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

-Eliza Woodhouse

Having some

The road is growing straighter,
And rocks now cease to tear,
But the light is growing dimmer,
True vision now is rare.

Is there a street sign to guide my way?
No.
Is there torch to bring the light of day?
No.

Courage is all there is to gain.
Peace is all there is to feign.
E'en if all the hope in me is vain,
It's better than not having any.

-Emma Woodhouse

An Ode to Strange Situations

You are not a truly difficult
little problem.
You simply annoy and
twist my arm.
Yet you are
everywhere.

You do not make me weep,
little problem.
The problem is not that you
twist my arm.
It is more that I think about you
everywhere.

When here, you're not such a
little problem.
My eyes water as you
twist my arm.
But I still have hope...you can't be
everywhere!

This is an ode to those who are little problems...though they have no problem getting along with me...

L'Un Vers L'Autre

I LOVE e. e. cummings. His poetry seems so nonsensical, yet it is so complex, so meaningful. If you haven't read any e. e. cummings poems, or if you didn't even know he was a poet, you MUST read some of his poetry. And don't just skim over it, or else you'll say to yourself, "He had a mental disorder and English must have been an (almost) second language." But no. He was brilliant. So ha. And on to our next topic: I just had the greatest idea. It would be so funny to make a "Writer's Atlas" just making fun of the Writer's Almanac. Ok, so perhaps this is not the greatest idea, but consider this: the adaptive-level phenomenon would cause anyone to be excited over their best ideas even if they were not THE best ideas.

Not depressing. I promise.

Only harder can it get;
There's more uphill before the down.
Yet, because now is lighter than then,
Why: instead of rejoicing, I frown?

The body is weak, the spirit too.
The hands hang down and drag.
Though laughter and smiles should habit be,
Complaint within doth nag.

There is an escape, though no ladder here.
'Tis far above my gaze.
Still, with prayer and mighty strength,
My Lord will there me raise.

"Oh help me scale the cold, slick walls,
And let me not despair."
Then glory be, before me see,
With each new word, a stair.

Every step He helps me build;
The finest materials used:
Humility, Obedience, and Faith,
Long-Suffering, Gratitude.

Soon, the door is at my hand;
I kneel upon the planks.
For though I reach it when I stand,
I am closer giving thanks.

-Eliza Woodhouse

Are you there?

I struggled my whole life to find you,
And though I've found many more,
You were the first lights in my darkness,
The first time my heart could soar.

You were the singers of my favorite song,
The heroes for whom I prayed,
I had many sparks of hope before you,
But you were the first to stay.

You fought for my soul
You helped me win it
Pointed me towards the Path
And by example helped me begin it.

Where are you now?
Now that I've learned to be strong?
Where are my heroes?
Who will sing my favorite song?

I can now walk on my own,
But a lonely road is dark.
My confidence would be shaken,
And disappointment stark.

The future's looking bright,
And my pathway seeming sure,
But if you are not there beside me,
How will I my sorrow cure?

I suppose the only thing to do
Is to try to keep us strong,
While accepting the bleakest odds,
Which may come true before too long.

Still, this I hope to tell you now,
While a message I still may send,
Because you led me to the Son,
You will always be my friend.

-Eliza Woodhouse

I miss you all.

For you.

Never again.
I've seen my mistakes:
Risks I'll never take,
As long as I want to stay sane.

Never again.
Turn away from the past,
Let this will power last,
And not be as normal in vain.

Never again.
I will be who I am,
Not the lovestruck lamb
Who cries till her cheeks are all stained.

Never again.
Take the languor away,
And do what he may,
My detachment will be plain,

For never again
Will I give up
The confidence built up
At times I was free,
And left to be me!
I'll fight every feeling,
Ne'er be sent wheeling
For some blue-eyed grafter,
Or cold-hearted shafter
Who leaves in a hurry
When things come out blurry,
And gives every reason
For disinterested treason
He can beg and protest
With all of the best
Or lie down at State Street and Main,

But I will not be moved,
And I think I have proved
That to me he's now just a bane,
And can say to my once worthy swain:

"Never again!"

haha it kinda sounds like a song from a musical...maybe lengthened...Anyway, I think that explains a lot. It's not meant to be depressing, really. And for me it's not. Never again! I am an independent daughter of God, and I don't need to let myself be pained out of some faux nobility. I've been stupid and naive, and I need to grow up. So I'm growing up. Trying to lose some melodrama. My life is not some novel, so I need to stop trying to put myself through the classic cycle of aggrivation to get to the happy ending. so HA HA HA I'm doing just what I'll bet you've been wanting for a while, but only because I want to! I can only say this: I know with a surety that you will, and probably do regret much of what you've done. All of it could be justified, but I would like to say that I really think you could have handled it better. And in all honesty, I've done a lot of stupid things myself. We're old enough not to act like that. So there. You probably won't even read this, but just in case: I'm sorry for my part. I forgive you for your part. But I'm not in any state of mind, nor will be for a while, to have much to do with you at all.