For you.

Never again.
I've seen my mistakes:
Risks I'll never take,
As long as I want to stay sane.

Never again.
Turn away from the past,
Let this will power last,
And not be as normal in vain.

Never again.
I will be who I am,
Not the lovestruck lamb
Who cries till her cheeks are all stained.

Never again.
Take the languor away,
And do what he may,
My detachment will be plain,

For never again
Will I give up
The confidence built up
At times I was free,
And left to be me!
I'll fight every feeling,
Ne'er be sent wheeling
For some blue-eyed grafter,
Or cold-hearted shafter
Who leaves in a hurry
When things come out blurry,
And gives every reason
For disinterested treason
He can beg and protest
With all of the best
Or lie down at State Street and Main,

But I will not be moved,
And I think I have proved
That to me he's now just a bane,
And can say to my once worthy swain:

"Never again!"

haha it kinda sounds like a song from a musical...maybe lengthened...Anyway, I think that explains a lot. It's not meant to be depressing, really. And for me it's not. Never again! I am an independent daughter of God, and I don't need to let myself be pained out of some faux nobility. I've been stupid and naive, and I need to grow up. So I'm growing up. Trying to lose some melodrama. My life is not some novel, so I need to stop trying to put myself through the classic cycle of aggrivation to get to the happy ending. so HA HA HA I'm doing just what I'll bet you've been wanting for a while, but only because I want to! I can only say this: I know with a surety that you will, and probably do regret much of what you've done. All of it could be justified, but I would like to say that I really think you could have handled it better. And in all honesty, I've done a lot of stupid things myself. We're old enough not to act like that. So there. You probably won't even read this, but just in case: I'm sorry for my part. I forgive you for your part. But I'm not in any state of mind, nor will be for a while, to have much to do with you at all.