Do you love today?

Do you ever find yourself suddenly so happy your eyes tear up?
Do you ever find the world so beautiful that you want to run through it singing?
Do you ever shout the words your heart has said for a hundred years but never had the courage to say?

Do you see the stars and think of who else is looking?
Do you see the moon and think that it's only a reflection?
Do you see the sky and remember when you thought it was made of blue velvet, or blue construction paper? Before someone told you the boring truth.

Don't let the smog blur the clouds. There are still fishes and pirate ships up there.
Don't be embarrassed to ask the best questions, like: "will you be my friend?"

Don't let even the coldest night make you forget the glory of a summer afternoon.
Because you'll wake up to see the sun. It never stopped shining. The world just got in the way.

Car Crash (Moment of Our Lives #1)

Once upon a time, Liz Warnick, Claire Warnick, and Noelle Reid decided to go to Casey's farewell. It had snowed that morning, and there hadn't been any sand/ice trucks out yet that day.

So there we were, driving to Casey's farewell. We were a bit late, but we were trying to play it safe anyway, not go too fast. We were on the freeway, nearing our exit. All of the sudden, we see the exit we are supposed to take. I turned a bit too quickly, but under any other circumstances, it would have been plenty of time. With all the new fallen snow and ice, my worn tires couldn't keep a grip. We started spinning at 60 miles an hour. Adrenaline took over, and we didn't even think to scream. We were spinning off the freeway, and there was nothing we could do.

On one side, the long way down into a ditch. Going down that way would likely throw the car into an all-out roll, which would put us in further danger. On the other side, the gore area and the freeway. If anyone was to come behind us, they would not have time to stop before they hit us from behind. And if they did stop, or swerve, they would likely spin out of control just as we were now doing. Not very many good options. The only safe way was to stay on the exit ramp and pray no one was trying to exit right behind us. Still, how do you stay within 20 ft. when you're spinning out of control?

I knew the best thing I could do would be to slow us down as fast as I could. The best way to do that was to pull us into an even tighter spin. We would spin faster, but our horizontal motion would take a severe drop. However, taking this tactic also meant I couldn't control where we would land.

I pulled the wheel as tight as I could, and we started spinning faster. A billion thoughts went through my mind, thinking through every contingency. Here are some things I was thinking:

• When we crash, I wonder how hurt I'll be.
• Finally! I get to see who would visit me in the hospital!
• I hope Liz and Claire don't get hurt. Not only would it be sad, but I'd be so embarrassed!
• AHHH!!
• Wow! I've never spun this much before!
• How am I not dead yet?
• This is a long spin.
• Our faces probably look so funny right now. (No, actually, I didn't think that. But they really did look funny)

Miraculously, there was no one behind us to send us rolling and depending upon our seatbelts to keep us alive. Miraculously, we didn't fly into the middle of the freeway, at the disposal of the wheels and metal around us. Miraculously, we didn't go careening over the side, into the ditch. We came to a stop in the middle of the exit ramp. And we had time to turn around and continue our journey before anyone was near us.

Why it was a miracle:
1. The exit ramp was curved. How could we have done a 540 degree turn at 60 miles an hour, and not have gone flying off?
2. Our momentum was headed straight (or almost straight) off the freeway, into the ditch. We should have slid right off.
3. I'm not that lucky.

So, how did we feel, having escaped death so nearly? How did we react to this crazy experience?

We spent the next 20 minutes laughing hysterically.

Out of Cold

Crushing snow beneath my feet.
My brow furrowed in the dark.

My head hurts.
I'm tired.
I feel empty.

A sound and a move catch my eye.
The last of a long line of deer is heading back
up the mountain.
The clack of their dainty feet
on the hard, man made black of the streets
bring me back to where I want to be.

The snow crackles like fire.
The stars smolder in the velvet.
For another moment, the world is full of magic.

- Eliza Woodhouse

An artist's interpretation of a moment at 9:54pm on January 10th, 2008.

A Perfect Day

It was beautiful. Here's a list of things that made it the best day, at least of the week:

• Didn't have to wait to cross the street. Either time.
• Got to work on time, and didn't even have to walk fast.
• Not too many problems, confusions at work.
• Daniel not there; I got to use the compy
• We ordered more stickyback sleeves. Each box comes with a handful of candy!
• I got to see the random little office of BYU Central Stores. It's so central, it's in the middle of a building for something else!
• I unexpectedly was let out at 2:30 for graduation!
• The cookies I cooked turned out pretty good.
• I went to DoT, and saw many of my favorite people.
• I went to Music Man, and saw even more of my favorite people.
• When Clayzy was having trouble finding the coupon we needed, I made a gesture and said "appear!" The next second, she pulled it out.
• We sat behind LeggyK and Aubrey. LeggyK and I laughed quite a bit.
• I even shared an inside joke with Soccerball in the middle of the show.
• I got to play with LeggyK's camera at intermission!
  
• Mariel was so cute and gave me a great big hug.
• The OHS Marching Band welcomed me with love, and even played a song in my honor! I think Carry On will now be one of my very favorite songs.

Alelujah!

The world, full of darkness, hate, and confusion, never ceases to amaze me with its light. Despite the cold, there is the warmth of the sun. Despite the sorrow of the people, there is the joy of potential. Hope is a thing with feathers...everytime I think it has migrated to a better sphere, it flutters back and settles my soul. There IS hope. Though the world in its entirety is doomed, there is hope in the salvation of individuals, there is hope in the mercy of an Almightly Lord. There is hope in the beauty of creation, the glory of the human soul. Let the mountains ring out with praise! Rivers cry in adoration of our God! All His creations, let us overflow with devotion! Everything speaks of hope in exaltation, every sight, smell, sound and fiber of the earth sing Alelujah!

Swimming through Sunshine

Today was a beautiful day. I woke up at 3:30 am for no reason, but today was full of light. I was tired, and achy, and souped up on cough drops, but today lifted my spirits. I have a cut on my thumb, bruises on my arms, a sore throat, no voice, but I wanted to sing and dance and shout out the joy of my heart. The sky is blue! The air is clear! The sun is bright! and even if they were not, my eyes are blue (that's important to me, I dunno why), my mind is clear, and my countenance is bright! This is such a beautiful world.

Uniquely Orange

Tomorrow is my audition. Today I rested, trying to let myself free from anxiety. Life-changing events are bad enough when they are unexpected. When they are partially controlled by those whose life they are changing, things get tricky. I watched Akeelah and the Bee last night. It's a good movie. There was a quote in it that I have been thinking about.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

This perhaps embodies my ideal philosophy. It is not yet a part of me, but as I think, it is more ingrained upon my consciousness. Who am I to squander gifts out of idleness? Who am I to hide even part of my passion for music? Am I scared that if it becomes so much of my life, I will lose those who do not feel the same? I will lose other important parts of me? If I work at it, and let myself, I can be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. Not more so than any other of God's children, but in a way that is soley mine. In a way that is radiantly, beautifully, uniquely orange.

To create...

I feel a longing, an urge, a need to create something beautiful. It's not a fancy, a wish, or a passing whim. It continues to pain me, to pull at me with more strength each coming day. I need to write something, paint something...create! To bring into existance something that expresses the things I've felt inside, something that though others may not be able to relate to it, they can still understand. I can hear the song, but I can't think of the notes. I can I need to write a poem, to compose music, say something that will take all these pent up longings and turn them into something beautiful...something beautiful...because at times like these, I feel beautiful on the inside.