You all, everybody

Google tells me almost daily..."You have no events scheduled today." hm. Well, I guess that's pretty much true. Usually. Except this week has been absolutely crazy. It's been fun though. Absolutely wonderful. Well, I really need to get to the matinee.

What we've all been waiting for...

Ok, just me. I'm once again using 0% of my gmail account's storage. Woot. That's what I call rationing. Also, my friend bestowed her domain name upon me (because I liked it so much) and you can find a link to it in my links section. It's basically being used for my "artistic endeavors". So...whatever. Today was a TON of fun. I really enjoyed almost everything I did today. Honestly. I really love my friends. I love the times when it seems like everything is going just the way I planned them. Mentally, of course. I'm spending time with friends, getting to know new friends, mending things (even imaginary things) with old friends. I just want to smile all day. Every day. Well, I'd betsa get goin. (oh, btw, ClearType on Internet Explorer 7 is REALLY nice. I like it a lot)

Wandering through wonderland

The Cheshire cat was right...you only know which way to go if you know where you want to end up. I suppose it's good to choose a definate direction even if you're not quite sure of the destination.

Poor Beethoven...

Fur Elise, one of the most famous and most poignant of compositions, was written by a young man named Ludwig Van Beethoven. He spent hours perfecting it, making it better. As indicated by the title, he wrote it for Elise, the young lady he loved. She did not love him in return. I have always wondered if Beethoven was tempted to burn the piece and forget about it. Perhaps that's where he got the crazy hair. I've noticed that artistic people often have the most pity-inspiring or just depressing lives of all the human race (I would say that the most righteous have the hardest time, but they know what they are living for. These geniouses often do not.) In Psychology, we learned that the right brain is often more associated with negative feelings. This makes a TON of sense. Not only with the lives of these poor brilliant people, but also with the urge to create when I am sad. Hm.

No more gazing across the wasted years...

Well, Valentine's Day was all it had to be. It could have been much worse. Still, sometimes really bad is more triumphant than utterly void...oh well. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow the glorified lies will be put back in their place, and those who live the way they do because that's what they believe will be also be put back in their place. And my friends will be back. You never truly appreciate someone to talk to until it's not there...Why do we always have to wait until it's gone to appreciate it? Is it a human fault? Never quite overcome? Probably. So maybe rather than "Life stinks and then you die" it should be "People stink, and then they die." hehe. Perhaps I'm only bitter against the holiday because I'm bitter against myself. Perhaps I'm only mad at myself for being sad that I don't have something that I never really wanted in the first place...yeah. It sounds about right.

Happy Single's Awareness Day

I've been trying to decide whether I'm excited for tomorrow. As a day, it'll be good enough...but no matter how much confidence a girl has, no matter how little desire they have for a boyfriend, it still kinda gets to us when we see girls laden with gifts. When they giggle and know they have something we don't. It still kinda gets to us when we see the giddy bubbles, the sparkles in their eyes...Sometimes we wonder: "what's wrong with me?" Of course, we know we're just as happy or happier on average. We know they're setting themselves up for unnecessary pain. But sometimes...on days like Valentine's Day...it's hard to remember what you know. Are we, the wise ones, doomed to be ostricized, to be laughed at, to be made to feel silly? Perhaps on this day...but we'll have our day too.

Alelujah!

The world, full of darkness, hate, and confusion, never ceases to amaze me with its light. Despite the cold, there is the warmth of the sun. Despite the sorrow of the people, there is the joy of potential. Hope is a thing with feathers...everytime I think it has migrated to a better sphere, it flutters back and settles my soul. There IS hope. Though the world in its entirety is doomed, there is hope in the salvation of individuals, there is hope in the mercy of an Almightly Lord. There is hope in the beauty of creation, the glory of the human soul. Let the mountains ring out with praise! Rivers cry in adoration of our God! All His creations, let us overflow with devotion! Everything speaks of hope in exaltation, every sight, smell, sound and fiber of the earth sing Alelujah!

More Purpose in Prayer

We heard today from Elder Robert D. Hales. I think this was the closest I've ever been to a general authority outside of the conference center. He said our stake is peculiar, and so he could say things that he couldn't say to other groups. He said many things that touched me, and I'm going to have to go over his words again tonight. Today I felt that I really need to find myself, and get to know me. I also feel like the only place I'm going to really find myself is if I'm with God. Figuratively, of course. "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I need to garnish my thoughts. Protect them, sanctify them, dedicate them. I need to stop worrying so much about the honor of the world. If no one were to care what I do, if all were to hate me, dispise me, or simply treat me with pity, would I be able to be confident in the Lord? If I were to find out that I am not anything I thought I was, would I be able to trust in the Lord to make of me what He will? Will I be able to deal with the fact that while I am part of a chosen generation, and even though I do have a purpose, that purpose may be a quiet one, a purpose in which I merely support those who lead, those who are chosen to teach? Is my purpose to learn? Is my purpose merely to love? Is my purpose to be humble and listen, and to cease to wonder why I am not chosen to speak? Or was that once my purpose, but I have somehow failed? Many are called and few are chosen. Will I be able to overcome pride and to serve the Lord even if I am not one of the chosen? I hope so.

An Ode to Strange Situations

You are not a truly difficult
little problem.
You simply annoy and
twist my arm.
Yet you are
everywhere.

You do not make me weep,
little problem.
The problem is not that you
twist my arm.
It is more that I think about you
everywhere.

When here, you're not such a
little problem.
My eyes water as you
twist my arm.
But I still have hope...you can't be
everywhere!

This is an ode to those who are little problems...though they have no problem getting along with me...

L'Un Vers L'Autre

I LOVE e. e. cummings. His poetry seems so nonsensical, yet it is so complex, so meaningful. If you haven't read any e. e. cummings poems, or if you didn't even know he was a poet, you MUST read some of his poetry. And don't just skim over it, or else you'll say to yourself, "He had a mental disorder and English must have been an (almost) second language." But no. He was brilliant. So ha. And on to our next topic: I just had the greatest idea. It would be so funny to make a "Writer's Atlas" just making fun of the Writer's Almanac. Ok, so perhaps this is not the greatest idea, but consider this: the adaptive-level phenomenon would cause anyone to be excited over their best ideas even if they were not THE best ideas.

Swimming through Sunshine

Today was a beautiful day. I woke up at 3:30 am for no reason, but today was full of light. I was tired, and achy, and souped up on cough drops, but today lifted my spirits. I have a cut on my thumb, bruises on my arms, a sore throat, no voice, but I wanted to sing and dance and shout out the joy of my heart. The sky is blue! The air is clear! The sun is bright! and even if they were not, my eyes are blue (that's important to me, I dunno why), my mind is clear, and my countenance is bright! This is such a beautiful world.