Friday, September 16, 2005

Analysis of why am I so stressed out

Right now, my brain is frying, and I am not completely sure why. Still, I am going to attempt to figure out.

I believe that one of the main reasons is the amount of responsibility being put upon my shoulders. I am a stake youth representative; section leader for marching band, pit orchestra, and orchestra; class president; MUN Vice President; and probably some other things I'm forgetting. I'm in at least 5 classes for college credit, a class over the internet, and all of my hard classes on top of that. I'm also taking 2 other classes outside of school for credit. All of these classes have homework. Of course, I have had more homework at other times, but right now I have no time in which to do the homework. Every day this week, I was gone all afternoon at unavoidable extracurricular activities. Then, coming home I was exhausted and had a mountain of homework to do. I am a very social person. I have not been able to speak in a real conversation to my best friend for a long time (at least 2 weeks) and it's driving me insane. Not to mention that I've had very little time to do anything really fun. Of course, this makes me more thankful for the time I'm able to spend chilling with my friends. Except that whenever I have a chance to talk to Radish, there is this one girl who is talking to him intently. I'm pretty sure she's obsessed with him, because she doesn't even talk to her other friends when he's there, and she uses every flirting trick in the book (I would know). I don't know why, really, but I get really frustrated and jealous and angry. I guess because she's older than him, and I just want my best friend back. Someof my friends are having social difficulties, though, and so much of the time I have to talk to them, they are asking me for advice for subjects. Either that, or they're talking about Homecoming. I am still bothered by the fact that I didn't get asked, although I know I shouldn't really care. It just seems like a thing I failed at, and I really hate to fail. So, hopefully I will be able to stay on top of things, and shave off all the things I can't handle. If I make sure not to be very irresponsible, and if I continue to work hard, I think I will begin to get used to this kind of lifestyle. I also think I will just continue to make the effort to talk to Radish. When I finally get in to talk to him, I just feel good. Maybe that's why I want to talk to him so much, and maybe that's why he's my best friend. Hopefully that other girl finds someone else to be obsessed with. Well...I should get going on my homework marathon for tonight. Should be a blast. Oh, and I should also start putting my synthesizer back together before the concert next week.

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