My Good Opinion, Once Gained...

So I've moved out. And I'm working full time. It's not all that bad. But why do I feel so alienated from the human race?

Because earning money is the only thing I do all day!

I do not help people much; I don't have time. I do not comfort people; I'm not there for them. I wish there was some way I could be everything to everyone and still earn money!

When I am a musician, I will have my own schedule. Most of that schedule will be dedicated to being a friend, and hopefully a wife and mother someday. I can't write music when my actions, and therefore thoughts, are so centered upon an activity which serves only myself!

Senior year was so great because I got to spend it with and spend so much of it doing things for such wonderful people. Psychology was a class I took so that I could help others. I do music not only for my own enjoyment, but so that I can share that love with other people .

I am a people person. I am centered on the social aspect, and the people involved with every facet of life. This makes it hard for me to focus on school. This makes it hard for me to focus on doing things that improve my own life. My mom said one time, "you not only aren't vain about your awards, but you seem to avoid them and hate them all together!" I laughed. It was hard for me to focus on doing all the things required to get into college, and I almost lost a scholarship I had earned because I just wasn't focused.

Now, I have to focus on work for most of my day. How very against my nature. If I complain a lot, that's why.

I'm listening to the last song of my last high school dance. It's cheesy beyond measure, but I really hope at least some of us are "friends forever." Don't be surprised if I visit any of you randomly. I miss you.