Something Else to Feel

I cannot think of any emotion that is two dimensional. Not one can be taken at face value. Every emotion, I believe, is a molecule, and though the atoms exist within the different molecules, no one element can exist purely to itself. At least for me in my Earthly experience.

This week has been so very fun. LeggyK and I have had a blast, and while we realize that as the choir people come back, we will be constrained (or restrained) once again to sanity, I think it is probably a good thing. It's been marvelous to have a vacation and to go crazy with LeggyK. We are very similar in our idea of a good time. I have gotten to know her so much better. I really think I can say I feel comfortable to be myself around her, and comfortable to ask her to do things with me, which, I think, is the greatest compliment, and the greatest sign of friendship that I can think of. I hope we will always have chances to go on escapades and just go crazy. I am also very excited for Soccerball, Violin, and Cherry to get home. I am especially excited for Cherry's return. Despite common misconception, Cherry often has ideas and plans that rival my craziness. She usually plays the straight man in our duo, kind of like Soccerball for LeggyK. She has the role of laughing or being shocked at what I say. However, if she didn't also come up with crazy ideas, or go along with the crazy ideas I came up with, I don't think I would hang out with her very long. It's been amazing to see how well we can play off eachother, and how similarly we think, despite the disparity of our behaviors. Unfortunately, that sometimes provides an excess amount of comfort, in which we are able to say things about people that probably shouldn't be said...

Well, I could sit here and analyze my relationships with my friends all day, but it's late, and I've probably already said something to offend someone, although none of my thoughts have been negative...gah. Ok, funny story...(that will forever make me laugh)

oh, btw...222 posts!

You smell shiny...

I was just wondering if it was possible to be bored of a person. I thought first of the people I have known the longest...am I bored of them? Not at all. The people I am around the most? Am I bored of them? If anything, the opposite. Then I thought about anyone I might be bored of, at least bored of their company. I realized that it is the people I spend the least amount of time with who bore me. There are a couple reasons for this that I can see. I don't spend time with people who bore me. There's also the fact that people change. When you watch how a person grows, that's exciting. And when you know a person well, there's always something going on in their life that affects you, and visa versa. How not boring.

PS I got a BYU music scholarship

Hydrogen in my Cheerios

I just love giving titles to things. I think I could see myself writing billions of little essays and things simply to give them all funny/weird titles. I sometimes feel that life is so good that I'm going to start spewing bubbles of happiness from my mouth, ears, etc. Soccerball, LeggyK, Violin, Cherry, and I have had such fun times lately. And most other things make me extremely happy as well. There are some stresses, some causes for anxiety and constant decision making, but overall, I can do nothing but to say that there is an immense amount of beauty in the world, and I'm drinking in all I can. I haven't written a good list in a while, now. Here's the ten songs that make me the most giddy:

1. Drops of Jupiter
2. When Did You Fall (In Love With Me)
3. For Once in My Life
4. The First Time I Danced
5. Give a Little Bit
6. What a Wonderful World
7. Accidentally In Love
8. You're Still You
9. For Good
10. As Lovers Go

Ah. Meaning a tranquil scream. What am I to do? Well, I really wouldn't do anything, except that this could spoil all my plans, all my beautiful hopes. Meh. Well, I've got some time. Ha! I think I know what I could do! I think I'll run the idea past my advisors tomorrow...But what if I'm totally wrong? No. Not possible at this point. I can be oblivious and paranoid, but this is way beyond guessing. This is recognizing the obvious. I mean really. Haha whenever I write down a list or something, my subject afterwards is completely different from the subject at the top. That's just because my thought process evolves during my listing, I suppose. Anyway, about mine problem...it's really rather selfish of me, I suppose. Still, are my hopes to be shoved out to accomodate for another's? No. I can hope, but it might be going too far to interfere consciously and premeditatedly.

"Find another friend and you discard" Have I done this? Oh, I hope not.

My energy resevoir is overflowing. I need to do something with it. I am having trouble, however, channeling this energy into anything constructive. *sob* I guess I'll just have to blow up from an overdose of enthusiasm.

Oh how beautiful

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see acceptance.
To be assured by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are safe.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see assistance.
To be relieved by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are healed.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

To look into their eyes and see joy.
To be thanked by their smiles.
To be hugged and know you are loved.

How beautiful it is to have a friend.

-Eliza Woodhouse

Contemplation

I feel kinda like a pruned rosebush. At the very peak of my bloom, and bright happiness, the winter came, and all my flowers were cut away. I will grow back. And I suppose no one meant any menace in the pruning. But it does hurt. It's ok, though. Weekends don't always have to be fun, I guess. Being alone...like the number 3 in a bowl of alphabet soup.

Having some

The road is growing straighter,
And rocks now cease to tear,
But the light is growing dimmer,
True vision now is rare.

Is there a street sign to guide my way?
No.
Is there torch to bring the light of day?
No.

Courage is all there is to gain.
Peace is all there is to feign.
E'en if all the hope in me is vain,
It's better than not having any.

-Emma Woodhouse