They're writing songs of love, but not for me...

I guess it's me. I guess I'm just not that girl. I guess I'll just have to suck it up, and accept that there's nothing about me that's attractive. Sure, you can shower me in compliments, sincere or not, but I don't think it's going to help anymore. It cuts too deeply. No matter what group of boys I hang out with (some of which I have the biggest crushes on), I have to sit and listen to them talk about all the girls they like. And whaddya know? None of them are me. And twice...I've been so sure! The first time I was right, but he is unintentionally the cruelest person I have ever known. So that obviously didn't work out for more than a single minute. Then the second time...he held me so tight...I shoudn't have entertained it, but gosh, I have my girlish fancies too! And boy did it feel good...oh MAN did it feel good...but no. I must have imagined it? I don't know! It felt...But then today was...WHO JUST DOES THAT!? *sigh* back to my guy friends. Even on dates. What the heck? The whole time, "yeah, so-and-so is so cute." Am I so horrible that I'm not even to be respected when you ask me out? What am I to you!? I can't blame my guy friends for gushing how much they like this girl or that girl, but no matter how many guys I talk to...it'll always be someone else. And I don't even get asked to dances. What is it about me? I've tried not trying, I've tried trying, maybe I'm trying too hard to not try too hard? I dunno. Maybe I lack grace, beauty, goodness, and all those things that are required...sigh. Well, that's ok. I'll just suck it up. I'll just get over it. I'll just live my own life. I don't need a boy to complete my self-esteem! ha wow...I'm such a liar