New! Improved?

New Scriptures! Not improved, but needed all the same. New Expansion Pack! I can't decide if I like it or not. It seems to have taken away a lot of emotion from my Sims...New perspective! Ok, not new, simply recurring...hm...improved? I have no idea. It's how I see things right now.

Ok, I guess I feel bipolar tonight, or something

Or maybe I'm just trying to describe two different aspects of my emotions tonight. Yeah. There are billions of variations of everything running through me. I am a dynamic character; I am three dimensional, and those dimensions are mind, spirit, and body. I am made of love, desire, independence, and vulnerability. It seems that I must fall to pieces before I can examine those pieces and put myself back together better. I understand now that I have things inside me that haven't been completely washed away. I still need to become a better person everyday, and to keep doing the things I need to do in order to keep those things to a minimum. I understand now that I can't help but be affected by the things other people do, and how they act toward me. So far, anyway. I cannot be torn apart any longer. I need to bring myself to a plain where I can feel emotion for others, but not transfer feeling from their actions to feeling about my worth. I must consider myself, and try to locate any of my faults made more clear by the reactions of others, but I cannot allow myself to create an image of a pathetic, useless Orange just because someone doesn't want to talk to me much anymore. Because although I love others, they do not decide who I am, or how much I have to offer the world. Here's something I'll be working on for the rest of my life.

To create...

I feel a longing, an urge, a need to create something beautiful. It's not a fancy, a wish, or a passing whim. It continues to pain me, to pull at me with more strength each coming day. I need to write something, paint something...create! To bring into existance something that expresses the things I've felt inside, something that though others may not be able to relate to it, they can still understand. I can hear the song, but I can't think of the notes. I can I need to write a poem, to compose music, say something that will take all these pent up longings and turn them into something beautiful...something beautiful...because at times like these, I feel beautiful on the inside.

And there was much rejoicing

I basically have the best friends in the world. No one can convince me otherwise. You make me feel important, loved, accepted. So thank you. I love you all

Gathering bits of sunshine

Although I've come down from my "happiness high", I think I've come up into a more spiritual, peaceful, joy. Perhaps not as full as I have yet to experience, but I feel like I'm on the right track, and that is something worth feeling. I feel like I'm a traveler, and though I get burrs in my socks, and cuts on my skin, and sometimes I don't know where I'm going, there is always Someone who is with me. There is always Home to look forward to. There is always sunshine to gather along the way.