There comes a time...

When you have to say goodbye. When you have to face those long-forgotten pasts. When you have to face the upcoming future. When you have to sit down and wonder: "What the heck am I going to do with my life!?" When you have to deal with the horrible reality that what means the whole world to you now could mean very little in the near future. When you have to ask yourself how you know what you do, and if you could know more just by a little observation. When life seems a little out of reach, and the slippery slope of panic starts to set in. When you dig in with all the strength you have left, and start the climb up with renewed will and purpose. When you falter, still wondering if you can make it, if your struggle is worth it. When you remember the reason. When you remember the moments when you had no doubt about your struggle. When you recall the feelings of assurance, of accomplishment, of strength and desire for victory. Victory over the enemy. Victory over doubt.

Band of Brothers and Sisters

Band camp. 85 people sweating, playing, marching, eating, and drinking water together. We fall as a team, but most of all, we grow as one. We are a family more than any other organization I have ever been a part of. Fights are rare and short lived. We've spent over 26 hours together this week alone. If I don't love these people by now, there's something wrong with me. We laugh, we get tears in our eyes at the music we create together. Hugs are not uncommon; smiles are a given. I love my family and friends, of course, but Marching Band is different. There's a special thing there that is unique from all other bonds in my life. Here are people that I've given so much for. I haven't had the opportunity to sacrifice this much for anyone else. True sacrifice creates or increases love. Love increases the will to sacrifice. Sometimes I just want to break down and tell everyone how much they mean to me. We work daily to be perfect. And we are getting there. We have a ways to go, but you can feel the excitement in the air. I just have one regret about Marching Band. I wish I had an opportunity to get this close to more of my friends.

Are you there?

I struggled my whole life to find you,
And though I've found many more,
You were the first lights in my darkness,
The first time my heart could soar.

You were the singers of my favorite song,
The heroes for whom I prayed,
I had many sparks of hope before you,
But you were the first to stay.

You fought for my soul
You helped me win it
Pointed me towards the Path
And by example helped me begin it.

Where are you now?
Now that I've learned to be strong?
Where are my heroes?
Who will sing my favorite song?

I can now walk on my own,
But a lonely road is dark.
My confidence would be shaken,
And disappointment stark.

The future's looking bright,
And my pathway seeming sure,
But if you are not there beside me,
How will I my sorrow cure?

I suppose the only thing to do
Is to try to keep us strong,
While accepting the bleakest odds,
Which may come true before too long.

Still, this I hope to tell you now,
While a message I still may send,
Because you led me to the Son,
You will always be my friend.

-Eliza Woodhouse

I miss you all.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
- Lynda Barry

Beautiful

So much noise.
So much peace destroyed.
I can hardly hear the voice leading me through the void.

So much noise.
The world's little lies:
Destruction in disguise,
Opportunities to compromise,
To make me beautiful in their eyes.

But I'm not gonna buy
The world's little lies.

'Cause I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I'm refined by His devine intentions every day I live.
It doesn't matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
It comes from within
I want to be beautiful to Him.

He's given me his trust,
So I'll be strong enough.
To run from the dangerous touch,
I don't need that kind of love.
I don't need that crutch.
He's given me His trust.

I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I'm refined by His devine intentions every day I live.
It doesn't matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
It comes from within
I want to be beautiful to Him.

I know how to shine,
My life's not really mine.
It's not about a worldly climb,
It's all about His design,
So in his eyes, I wanna shine.

I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives.
I'm refined by His devine intentions every day I live.
It doesn't matter what the world believes,
Or what they say that beauty means,
It comes from withinI want to be beautiful to Him.
I wanna live to have His peace,
And feel the warm release He sees.
It comes from within,
I wanna be beautiful,

To Him.

-Rachel Thibodeau

(hehe I didn't notice how many dumb rhymes there were before...oh well, it's still a good song.)