Wow. I'm assuming an awful lot here. Meaning assuming I won't die or become horribly disfigured, paralyzed, terminally ill, or something else before my future comes along. Still, I have a pretty good feeling that's not going to happen. What do I want to do with my life? Or will I let it remain an unused resource, waiting to take form?
I wanted to be a writer. Since I was eight years old. I felt sure I was going to be a writer. I wrote short stories. Usually the focus was on humor, but I wrote and wrote.
I wanted to be an architect. I felt sure this was my calling. I love to draw, and I love to design. I love architecture, and the physics behind it. Since seventh grade I wanted to be an architect. I drew, and drew, designing and inventing, and studying physics and drafting so I would be ready.
I want to be a musician. Since I was sixteen I've wanted to be a musician. I love music. I feel right when I am making it. I feel like I am finally doing something beautiful, expressing the beauty inside me by letting something beautiful come out. I play and play. I take every chance I get to be part of music, to make it and to listen to others make theirs. Each of my former attempts at prediction have led me to this path.
I still write words, creating worlds, people, and emotion with the English language. But I really want to be a writer, composing the phrases and conversations and stories through music. The rests and downbeats the punctuation, and the use of color and tone to imitate the human voice and to tell a story. I love intertwining melodies, and I love to write parts that fit together, flowing together, but each saying the same thing in a totally different way.
I still draw. I still imagine and create buildings in my head. I still can calculate the physics behind thermodynamics, and metal tension, stone compression, and other things that make up the architect's world. I can draw a building with less than 1/16'' margin of error. But I want to be an architect, building the structure of a piece of music, putting up the frame of the chord progression, and the sheetrock of the phrasing, the roof of the melody, and the paint of the articulation and dynamics. I want to build a home to house emotion. I want the entire world to visit that home, and maybe to keep coming back.
I want to be a musician. I want my music to dance like Wilson, to glide like Michelle Kwan, and paint like Van Gogh. I want to do something beautiful. I want to say what I feel, and I can't say it with words half as well as I can say it through a ballad. I want to learn which intervals make people feel a certain way, and I want to manipulate my audience, and lead them through a vision, an image I will create. I want to be a musician.
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4 comments:
i hope that you meet your aspiration. the world needs all the good, pure talent it can get.
in a way i'm very similar, but twisted in another direction. i want to write. i want the words to sound so good, be so powerful, it'll be like music. i want to build with my words, design a logical building that can't be shaken. i want to paint an opinion and draw truth, power, and righteousness. bwahaha, the pen (or..keyboard) is oh so mighty!
wow, i really liked that.
here's what you should do: write a musical--lyrics, script, plotline, music, everything, AS WELL AS create all the sets. it's perfect.
i don't know if you've read some of my other neinsi blogs, the earlier ones, but i think ever since forever, i have wanted to be witty. maybe not an author, but just <>witty<>. with excellent debating skills. i want to be able to think fast and say something so smart that it'll leave people with their mouths hanging open, speachless. i want to have perfect combacks. ooh how i ever want to have perfect combacks. however, my mind processes slowly, and thus, in my own little world, i am witty-less and debating skill-less. but i still love to dream.
9c, you are definately NOT witless. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, quick wit comes with sharp tongues. Practice usually is in the form of insults, and I know I was kinda bad with that for a while there. Of course, I was nearly always joking, but I've had to tone it way down, and I've found it's REALLY hard to be quick, smart, and complimentary at the same time. It's a talent I would like to achieve, though. I think you guys are probably WAY closer to getting there than I am.
I totally should write a musical. That'd be so fun
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