Monday, January 30, 2006
LIfe is weird
One jealousy traded for another. An enemy turned into a friend. People who say they get over someone, but we all know the truth. People who don't like who you think they would be most perfect for. Finding hope in the hopeless. Doing better than you expected, but not as well as is expected of you. Seeing through the blindness, and feeling your say out. Loving then hating then loving again. Wanting, not wanting, wanting again. Happiness crushed. Sadness chased away. Wondering if you just might be right. People knowing everything about you, but you know nothing about them. Having a hunch. Acting on it, and being right in one way, but totally messing up anyway. Never quite sure if you're doing the right thing. Never quite sure.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Wow, it's late, and I'm Analyzing
Being stupid. Why is it so much fun? I'm going to try to find out.
Breaking social norms. What could be more liberating? What can make you feel more unique than to do something that no one else does, even if you have to make a fool out of yourself? When you think out of the box, and do something so unexpeted, the reaction of other people brings a feeling of fresh independence and freedom. Rebellion is best when it's socially wrong but not legally wrong. Then, the only consequences are felt by those with low self-esteem (which are usually not the people doing the stupid stuff to begin with)
Laughing with friends. There is no better, more natural feeling. You are around people who accept you, and when you are being stupid, they are being stupid with you, and so you know they aren't just your friend because of your wild intelligence, ha. They are also being rebellious social outcasts with you, so you don't feel left out, but even more included. Besides, seeing the reaction on people's faces is HILARIOUS, or even if the reaction isn't all that great, we make fun of it until it is great. I love being stupid with my friends.
Taking a break from the world. It's a hard world. There are people with good intentions that hurt us sometimes. They are called parents and friends and physical trainers. Good thing they make us happy the rest of the time, and good thing we love them. There are also bad people. These people are trying to hurt us every day. They are called politicians, molestors, the media, and teachers. When you take a break, forget the bad people, and make fun of the good people (all in good fun, so no one gets hurt) it helps to alleviate the stress that was building up, and to give you a better outlook on the stress that's coming up.
Overall, being stupid is a good idea. Well...moderation in all things. Don't be stupid at important times. Don't be REALLY stupid. Don't be stupid too often. There we go.
Breaking social norms. What could be more liberating? What can make you feel more unique than to do something that no one else does, even if you have to make a fool out of yourself? When you think out of the box, and do something so unexpeted, the reaction of other people brings a feeling of fresh independence and freedom. Rebellion is best when it's socially wrong but not legally wrong. Then, the only consequences are felt by those with low self-esteem (which are usually not the people doing the stupid stuff to begin with)
Laughing with friends. There is no better, more natural feeling. You are around people who accept you, and when you are being stupid, they are being stupid with you, and so you know they aren't just your friend because of your wild intelligence, ha. They are also being rebellious social outcasts with you, so you don't feel left out, but even more included. Besides, seeing the reaction on people's faces is HILARIOUS, or even if the reaction isn't all that great, we make fun of it until it is great. I love being stupid with my friends.
Taking a break from the world. It's a hard world. There are people with good intentions that hurt us sometimes. They are called parents and friends and physical trainers. Good thing they make us happy the rest of the time, and good thing we love them. There are also bad people. These people are trying to hurt us every day. They are called politicians, molestors, the media, and teachers. When you take a break, forget the bad people, and make fun of the good people (all in good fun, so no one gets hurt) it helps to alleviate the stress that was building up, and to give you a better outlook on the stress that's coming up.
Overall, being stupid is a good idea. Well...moderation in all things. Don't be stupid at important times. Don't be REALLY stupid. Don't be stupid too often. There we go.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Faults, and ways to overcome them
I'm not being self detrimental. I have faults like the rest of the human race, and by recognizing them I will be able to better combat them. These are the things I think I have the most trouble with.
Vain
Foolish
Judgemental
Dishonest (usually with myself, which is worst)
Thoughtless
Self-centered
Idle
Ok. I might add to this list later, but for now, this is plenty to start working on. I just hope my stupid weakness doesn't come back and make me go backwards instead of forward.
Vain
Foolish
Judgemental
Dishonest (usually with myself, which is worst)
Thoughtless
Self-centered
Idle
Ok. I might add to this list later, but for now, this is plenty to start working on. I just hope my stupid weakness doesn't come back and make me go backwards instead of forward.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
An Epic (sorta)
I gave without thought of return;
It sounds trite, though true.
Did I any deference earn?
I did, but not from you.
I was utterly selfless.
You took it all as naught.
I repulsed darts when you were helpless,
And all your battles faught.
You barely even mentioned
The perils that I faced:
The enemy castles bastioned,
The evil and abased.
You took my good and broke it
As the soft wing of a dove.
I am sorry that I spoke it,
Who can glory just in love?
You've taken my gifts and sold them,
Or left them on the shelf.
If I was ever bold then,
I'd have assaulted you myself.
Do I deserve to be ground in the dirt?
Left for the great black birds?
Did I cause you any hurt?
Give you any but soft loving words?
My pride has awakened
In all its blind rage.
I won't be forsaken,
Nor put in a cage!
You've played with a fire,
Though it was just coals,
You'll see what you acquire
From spurned good souls!
Your negligence kindling
Your mean words the bellows
Your protection is dwindling,
Don't look to your fellows!
They cannot protect you
As I have once done
You'll get just what is due,
And won't it be fun?
Wait, what is that?
A caring smile?
I'm engaged in combat!
Couldn't it wait just a while?
My anger is gone.
My love has returned.
Was I ever cheated?
Was I ever spurned?
I just can't remember,
All I see are your eyes,
I'll wait to dismember,
Put off the goodbyes.
-Eliza Woodhouse
It sounds trite, though true.
Did I any deference earn?
I did, but not from you.
I was utterly selfless.
You took it all as naught.
I repulsed darts when you were helpless,
And all your battles faught.
You barely even mentioned
The perils that I faced:
The enemy castles bastioned,
The evil and abased.
You took my good and broke it
As the soft wing of a dove.
I am sorry that I spoke it,
Who can glory just in love?
You've taken my gifts and sold them,
Or left them on the shelf.
If I was ever bold then,
I'd have assaulted you myself.
Do I deserve to be ground in the dirt?
Left for the great black birds?
Did I cause you any hurt?
Give you any but soft loving words?
My pride has awakened
In all its blind rage.
I won't be forsaken,
Nor put in a cage!
You've played with a fire,
Though it was just coals,
You'll see what you acquire
From spurned good souls!
Your negligence kindling
Your mean words the bellows
Your protection is dwindling,
Don't look to your fellows!
They cannot protect you
As I have once done
You'll get just what is due,
And won't it be fun?
Wait, what is that?
A caring smile?
I'm engaged in combat!
Couldn't it wait just a while?
My anger is gone.
My love has returned.
Was I ever cheated?
Was I ever spurned?
I just can't remember,
All I see are your eyes,
I'll wait to dismember,
Put off the goodbyes.
-Eliza Woodhouse
Saturday, January 07, 2006
An Analyis of Dreams, Goals, and Accomplishment
Glinda the Good said that "Happiness is what happens when all your dreams come true." What is a dream? How does that differ from a goal? Why would accomlishing them make one happy?
The first step to accomplishment is a dream. To dream is something so common, it may even surpass jeans in acceptance. Fantasies and wishful thinking take up about 60% of the average American's brain capacity, leaving less and less room for reality. Being so cosmopolitan, only an infintesimal amount of dreams are taken seriously, even by the dreamer. That means that an even smaller ratio of those fantasies and wishes are accomplished.
This brings us to the second step: a goal. Dreams must be transformed into goals using the magic elixir, commitment. When we bring those dreams into the light decide they would be worth while enough to use time and energy to accomplish them, they become goals. Unfortunately, goals include a colossal gamet of levels of commitment. To think that someday you are going to be an astronaut is a goal just as much as the goal to do 100 situps every night. The differences between dreams that turn into goals and goals that turn into accomplishment are a plan, action, and pereverance.
The finish line is finally reached, and the goal has turned into accomplishment. Usually, this event brings with it an added measure of confidence, a sense of pride in the accomplishment, and a desire to make other accomplishments to add to the collection. However, there are other times when the accomplishment brings the realization that the result did not match up to the expectations of the dream, or perhaps that the accomplishment was one that you should not have dreamed in the first place. Perhaps we must only remember to watch our dreams, that our accomplishments are what we really wanted.
I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
Well - not "simply":
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of cost
A couple of things get lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
This is my 100th post!
The first step to accomplishment is a dream. To dream is something so common, it may even surpass jeans in acceptance. Fantasies and wishful thinking take up about 60% of the average American's brain capacity, leaving less and less room for reality. Being so cosmopolitan, only an infintesimal amount of dreams are taken seriously, even by the dreamer. That means that an even smaller ratio of those fantasies and wishes are accomplished.
This brings us to the second step: a goal. Dreams must be transformed into goals using the magic elixir, commitment. When we bring those dreams into the light decide they would be worth while enough to use time and energy to accomplish them, they become goals. Unfortunately, goals include a colossal gamet of levels of commitment. To think that someday you are going to be an astronaut is a goal just as much as the goal to do 100 situps every night. The differences between dreams that turn into goals and goals that turn into accomplishment are a plan, action, and pereverance.
The finish line is finally reached, and the goal has turned into accomplishment. Usually, this event brings with it an added measure of confidence, a sense of pride in the accomplishment, and a desire to make other accomplishments to add to the collection. However, there are other times when the accomplishment brings the realization that the result did not match up to the expectations of the dream, or perhaps that the accomplishment was one that you should not have dreamed in the first place. Perhaps we must only remember to watch our dreams, that our accomplishments are what we really wanted.
I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
Well - not "simply":
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of cost
A couple of things get lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
This is my 100th post!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Yay!
I'm writing again! I had a HUGE gap in between, but I'm writing again, mostly because Radish inspired me with his birthday present. It was really cool, it was a wooden pen that he MADE. I felt special to get it. So I'm only on the 13th page, but that's ok, because I have nearly 6,000 words, and for me and my hectic schedule and scattered brain that's really saying something. What's even better is that Strawberry and Radish are me editors. Well, better keep going on it!
Monday, January 02, 2006
List of 40 kinds of sadness
The title before gave me an idea. In order to give myself something to do, and in order to fully prove my disgusting, hopelessness and obsession, I'm going to list those different kinds of sadness. Hopefully I'll be able to think of them all. Ready? These are all the feelings I have when he is not around, when he's off having his White Christmas, not making the least effort to contact me, despite how easy, how natural and right it would be...Things should be different.
1. Without purpose
2. Cheerless
3. Listless
4. Unhappy (obviously)
5. Forlorn
6. Forsaken
7. Dismal
8. Morose
9. Despondent
10. Lugubrious
11. Apologetic
12. Disconsolate
13. Doleful
14. Bereaved
15. Heartsick
16. Lonely
17. Depressed
18. Mournful
19. Indignant
20. Bitter
21. Tortured
22. Tender
23. Resentful
24. Stricken
25. Attritional
26. Tumultuous
27. Passionate
28. Prehensile
29. Crestfallen
30. Envious
31. Vain (I could explain why that was sadness)
32. Sadistic
33. Pensive
34. Importunate
35. Exhausted
36. Frustrated
37. Relinquished
38. Empty
39. Perplexed
40. Afraid
Yay! I did it! And I can even think of more, but I don't think I will extend this list any farther. Enjoy, because I'm going to go test out different contingencies of my future using my trusty simulator. Bye!
1. Without purpose
2. Cheerless
3. Listless
4. Unhappy (obviously)
5. Forlorn
6. Forsaken
7. Dismal
8. Morose
9. Despondent
10. Lugubrious
11. Apologetic
12. Disconsolate
13. Doleful
14. Bereaved
15. Heartsick
16. Lonely
17. Depressed
18. Mournful
19. Indignant
20. Bitter
21. Tortured
22. Tender
23. Resentful
24. Stricken
25. Attritional
26. Tumultuous
27. Passionate
28. Prehensile
29. Crestfallen
30. Envious
31. Vain (I could explain why that was sadness)
32. Sadistic
33. Pensive
34. Importunate
35. Exhausted
36. Frustrated
37. Relinquished
38. Empty
39. Perplexed
40. Afraid
Yay! I did it! And I can even think of more, but I don't think I will extend this list any farther. Enjoy, because I'm going to go test out different contingencies of my future using my trusty simulator. Bye!
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