Ok, I guess I feel bipolar tonight, or something

Or maybe I'm just trying to describe two different aspects of my emotions tonight. Yeah. There are billions of variations of everything running through me. I am a dynamic character; I am three dimensional, and those dimensions are mind, spirit, and body. I am made of love, desire, independence, and vulnerability. It seems that I must fall to pieces before I can examine those pieces and put myself back together better. I understand now that I have things inside me that haven't been completely washed away. I still need to become a better person everyday, and to keep doing the things I need to do in order to keep those things to a minimum. I understand now that I can't help but be affected by the things other people do, and how they act toward me. So far, anyway. I cannot be torn apart any longer. I need to bring myself to a plain where I can feel emotion for others, but not transfer feeling from their actions to feeling about my worth. I must consider myself, and try to locate any of my faults made more clear by the reactions of others, but I cannot allow myself to create an image of a pathetic, useless Orange just because someone doesn't want to talk to me much anymore. Because although I love others, they do not decide who I am, or how much I have to offer the world. Here's something I'll be working on for the rest of my life.